Contrary to love stories, chick flicks and epic poems,
there is such a thing as loving someone too much. If
you do not know when to stop smothering someone,
you run the risk of pushing your newfound love away.
Many people are addicted to loving too much and
smothering a partner without even realizing it. And
while they do this, they ignore all the warning signs,
and are completely taken off guard when their partner
You need to remember that as exciting as being in a
new relationship is, you have to watch your step.
Although there is nothing wrong with showering your
partner with love, there is a fine line between being
attentive and smothering.
Do not be blinded by love and learn to pay attention to
the signals. When you constantly cross the line of your
partner’s tolerance and annoyance, your partner will
probably display telltale signs that enough is enough,
and that they need you to back away.
Some of these signs include, but are not limited to,
pulling disappearing acts on you, making excuses for
breaking dates, and as a last resort, breaking up with
Why loving someone too much pushes them away
Smothering someone with love does not prove that you
love them. Rather, it displays signs of insecurity and
selfishness. There is nothing wrong with showering
your significant other with your undying love and
attention, but crossing that fine line and traversing
into the region of smothering is easier than you think.
Many say that the reason they smother their loved
ones is because they are afraid of losing them. But
almost always, the truth is, the more you suffocate
them with love and attention, the further away you are
When you really think about it, loving someone does
not mean you have to breathe down their necks and
keep tabs on them every minute of every day. Love is
meant to be generous and trustworthy. If you cannot
offer your new love these fundamentals, then you are
not ready to be in a relationship.
5 reasons why loving someone too much kills the love
Loving someone is wanting the best for them, even if it
means you are not getting what you want. Here are
five big reasons why too much smothering will push
your new love away.
#1 No one wants to lose their freedom
Wing clipping is the act of trimming a bird’s flight
feathers so that it is no longer able to fly. Do not do
this to the person you love. When you clip their wings,
you are forcing them to be tethered to you. By
smothering them with too much affection, you are
taking away their freedom. This means that they are
unable to make decisions without having you burning
holes into the back of their head.
By smothering your partner, you are completely
disregarding what they want for themselves. You have
to give your loved one the chance to be free, even after
you are married. This does not mean turning a blind
eye to extramarital affairs. It simply means letting them
make decisions without the fear of having you coming
down hard on them.
Do not place the person you love in a gilded cage
because no matter how wonderful it is, it is an
inescapable prison that no person should have to live
in. Never clip your new love’s wings as nothing good
will come out of it. Let them have their freedom and if
you are really meant to be, you will be together no
#2 Stunt the relationship’s growth
Smothering someone will stunt, not just the
relationship’s growth, but your partner’s growth as
well. This is true when it comes to dating someone
new, especially if both of you are young. You must give
yourself and your partner the chance to be two
separate individuals. You have to also give the other
person sufficient time and space to accept you into
their lives, no matter how much you love each other.
Loving someone means respecting their needs and
desires and not forcing your way of life onto another
person. Unless your partner is ready to fully accept you
into his or her life and change their habits to make
room for yours, you cannot break down the door and
invite yourself in. Respect your partner’s individuality
and do not stunt his or her growth. You have to
respect your partner’s wishes and desires and let the
relationship healthily grow on its own.
If you smother your new love with something they did
not ask for, you will undoubtedly come off as needy
and greedy and you can bet your bottom dollar that
you will be single again in no time at all.
Building the perfect relationship takes time and you
have to remember that if you rush things and try to
take control of your partner, you will never get the
relationship you crave for, as it will forever be stunted.
#3 Stifle their independence
You will not give your significant other the important
chance to be who they are if you smother them with
too much attention. Decisions that they make have to
involve you, whether they want to or not. From simple
things such as when to hop into the shower, to what
they want to have for dinner, to deciding whether to
make a career move to another country, you snatch
away your partner’s chance of being independent
when you are constantly in their face.
The last thing that you want to do is to oppress the
person you love. You have to give them the
independence that every human being needs to make
their own decisions and grow into the person they were
meant to be. If you try to limit your new love’s ability to
make choices, it is only a matter of time before they
start realizing that their entire life is a prison and they
will do all that they can to break free.
There is nothing wrong with sharing your time with
someone else and being a part of life changing
decision-making processes. However, there is a
difference between forcing yourself onto your new love
and giving them the chance to invite you in. Do not
stifle your new love’s independence as they will go
running for the hills.
#4 Familiarity breeds contempt
Familiarity breeds contempt, and as many couples will
tell you, boredom as well. Everyone needs their space.
Even old married couples appreciate spending some
time away from each other. Absence certainly makes
the heart grow fonder as it gives your partner the
chance to miss you.
Most of the time, people tend to appreciate what they
have when they are away from it, and relationships are
no different. If you smother your loved one with too
much attention and neglect to give them the much
needed space and time apart from you, you will
inevitably invite in contempt and a sense of boredom.
This does not mean that long-term romances are
boring. It simply means that the two parties have
figured out how to balance peaceful space and love
without smothering each other.
If you are with someone new, you will do well to
remember that being in a relationship is a delicate
balancing act that takes time and effort to master. Give
your new love some space and let him have his boys’
night out or her night out with the girls, without the
need to come down hard on your partner. Remember
that familiarity breeds contempt, so always give each
other space and time for friends and hobbies outside
of the relationship.
#5 It displays desperation
When you smother a new love, you will undoubtedly
come off as being needy and desperate, even if you
are not. Always remember that no one wants to be in a
relationship with someone who cannot stand on their
own two feet. You have to take it upon yourself to be
independent and prove to not just your new love, but
to yourself that you can cope with the responsibility of
being in an adult relationship.
Love demands trust and if you cannot give your
partner space without having to play 20 questions,
you are displaying signs of being insecure. Not just
that, you new love will think that you are not able to
deal with being alone and that you are terrified of
No one wants to be with someone who comes off as
being crazy and needy, so be careful not to smother
your partner as it comes off as looking desperate, a
totally unattractive quality to have in a mate.
As much as you love your partner and love being
around them all the time, remember that loving them
too much and smothering them will only cripple them.
And along the way, you’ll end up crippling yourself
Contrary to love stories, chick flicks and epic poems,