relationship or whatever you call it
when you first start dating is
quintessentially the most important
time. While you’re excited to have met
someone new or actually moving on to
a new part of your life, it’s a time where
you have to make sure you don’t ruin
things by getting too far ahead of
yourself.
There’s nothing that anyone
can do about what goes on in your head
about your new dating adventure, but
the goal is to keep those things from
coming out. Once those thoughts turn
into actions, things go awry. Here are
the Five Things You Should Never Do
When You First Start Dating:
1. Facebook stalk them
It seems as though most people’s first
reaction to meeting someone and
finding out their last name is to
immediately “friend” them on
Facebook. After the friendship is
complete, ladies go straight into your
pictures looking for any recurring
faces… like your ex-girlfriend. The men
go straight into your pictures looking for
Spring Break pictures. Both of these are
wrong. Facebook is a great social
networking tool, but it shouldn’t replace
good old-fashioned getting to know one
another.
2. Follow them on twitter
Think for a moment what Twitter is
about. It’s a status updating platform for
people to tell the world everything
they’re thinking. While it may seem like
a good idea to follow the person you just
started dating, don’t you think that’s
rushing the process a bit? When people
tweet, they don’t necessarily tweet from
the heart. There’s also a loss of tone.
How do you know if he or she is actually
joking around or playing with their
friends? You can easily misinterpret
them to be a jerk or rude when in reality
you just crashed their @’s trying to get
an inside scoop.
3. Ask invasive questions
Ask anybody who knows me and they’ll
tell you that I believe in boundaries. I’m
a little more complex than most guys
because I’m very careful not to ask
questions that would lead to similar
questions being asked back. With that
said, when you start to ask questions
like, “Why did you break up with your
ex-girlfriend?” on the first date, or “So I
wanted to ask you about [that
embarrassing story from college that
they've somehow uncovered by doing a
deep dive on your past],” you’re way out
of line. When people ask me when is the
right time to bring up the tough
questions, I always say, “When they’re
necessary, not when you feel like you
need to know.”
4. Rush things
The easiest way to get to a meaningful
relationship is to develop the
relationship organically. Organically
means naturally and at a normal pace
without any additives. I understand that
no one likes idle time. I also understand
that people are goal-oriented. But for
Pete’s sake, don’t rush the relationship!
Take your time, give both yourselves
time to want to be in the midst of a
relationship. You can’t go from dinner
on Friday night, to an early morning
text about brunch on Saturday, to “how
do you feel about going to 12 o’clock
service with me on Sunday?” Take your
time, you’ll scare the other person away
if you start smothering them out the
gate.
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