Skip to main content

Reasons female friendships fail

Image result for female friendships

According to Janis Kupferer of SheKnows, the friendship topics covered are many and varied, and they can include advice on ending a toxic friendship and ways to enhance existing friendships, along with personal essays about just how difficult it is to find new friendships. These worthy writings set out to celebrate friendships between women, they espouse the fact that friendships are equally important to our psyches and our bodies, and they demonstrate all the cool things that having a "bestie" provides.

But unfortunately, every single one of them lacks two essential things — two very crucial and vital things that could help you to celebrate these important relationships.
First, they lack any actual advice on just how to get some friends. And second, they fail to mention that most women (seriously — most women) don't have as many friends as they'd like to.
Here is the really dirty, awful truth about female friendships: We talk about them and we applaud them, but many, many of us don’t have a ton of really great friendships (this is true for men, too, by the way). Or if we do have the requisite handful, we don’t have one like the "one" described in each and every one of these articles: your go-to gal, your "move-a-body" friend (watch from 2:08) or your "known since childhood and still talk every day" girlfriend.
And just as seeing the photos of our co-worker's trip to Australia on Facebook makes us feel bad that we didn't plan or save for our own trip to Australia (that we'd definitely post pictures of, too — if we went), hearing about all these wonderful, vital and most important friendships that everyone else is having — well, it just makes us feel even worse.
These articles do get you thinking, and usually, your thoughts go to "Why is it that everyone else can find their female soul mate but I can't even get some gal chatter in yoga class? Why is it that all these other ladies are taking off on girlfriend getaways but I'm still looking for an invite to a Stella & Dot party?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that you aren't alone, nor are you even in the minority.
Friendships don't always last, and you aren't connected
If you are reading this article because you could use a new gal pal or two, listen up. If your friendship cabinet is a bit bare, it isn't because of you or your personality. There isn't anything wrong with you, and there are relationships and friendships for all of us (remember — the universe is abundant and does provide). So, don't buy into the hype.
Friendships ebb and flow and come and go, and they're not as long-lasting as we've commonly believed. A study by a Dutch researcher found that the length of the average friendship is just seven years. More specifically, in the course of seven years, people turned over a nearly a third of their social circle. American research casts a gloomier view, finding that not only are our social circles not long-lasting, but they're shrinking. The General Social Survey (part of the U.S. Census) found that 25 percent of Americans report having only one close confidant (usually a spouse) and an average of just two. That's just two folks whom you consider close friends.
Although I'm no academic, I do hear every day from women who tell me that they are seeking new friendships because they've just graduated or moved, become a mom or empty nester, changed jobs, started working virtually or retired — or because they've recently married, divorced or become widowed and thus have had their social circle change, often significantly. Since these events aren't really all that rare, and since they really can make a dramatic impact on our circle of friends, I'm actually a bit surprised that the average friendship lasts as long as seven years! And we haven't even mentioned friendship changes caused by personal conflicts.
This is why I say that having a lack of friendships (or more softly, just wanting a few more friends) really isn't personal but rather situational.
The facts are that we marry later in life and then divorce more often than not, we relocate frequently and farther away, we work longer hours and commute longer distances, and our generation is not as committed to being part of a religious community as were previous generations.
We choose friends from the pools that are available to us, that interest us and that describe us. Sometimes, these pools can be a bit empty or simply don't contain the type of friends we seek. And sometimes, we just don't have enough pools (aka communities).
So... your friendship problem is real, but it isn't one that requires a visit to a psychiatrist's couch. Your problem is simply that you aren't connected to a community or that you are connected to the wrong community.
Think about community for a second, not just as a place or a group but as a feeling. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, "community" is "a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals."
Are you a runner? There is a community for that. Are you a mom to school-aged kids? There is a community for that. Are you a recently relocated, retired, empty-nester divorcee who just wants to go shopping, or drinking or walking with a good friend? There is a community for that, too (read on).
When you look for a new job, you reach out to your professional network to assist in helping you land a new job. And if you don't have a professional network, well then... can provide one for you.
And when you are seeking a romantic relationship, you tell your friends and family about your desire, and just as with your job search, you hope they can make a few introductions or perhaps point you in the direction of the best meeting spots around town. But if they don't happen to know anyone or anything, then you simply turn to a dating site to help you find some good prospects. And given that 40 million people are dating online right now, you'll probably be sipping cider by next weekend.
And when you move to a new town or are looking for a new tennis partner, you may also reach out to family and friends for help with your networking, and they'll likely fix you up with anyone they know who lives in your new area or who shares your interests. But if they don't happen to have any connections, then you...
Wait… where do you go if you need to make friends and don't have a community?
Friendship networking: It's the new black
OK, so far, I've told you that needing some friends isn't such an uncommon thing. In fact, the truth is just the opposite — needing new friends is extremely common, even more common than not. And I've explained that the need shouldn't be viewed as a personal problem but rather understood as more about your situation than about any glaring personality issues. And I've further explained that most of the time — actually, almost all of the time — friendships are formed through our communities, but due to our changed society, our connection to and involvement in communities is much less than it was just a few decades ago.
So this is where I fill in the blank where all the other articles leave off and I actually answer your question about how to make or where to find new women friends.
They are little known because they are relatively new on the scene, but there are online communities that women can join to find potential new friends. This is called friendship networking, and although they're very similar to dating sites in terms of features and functionality, these communities are women-only and platonic-only.
These "communities," although virtual or online, provide great ways to find other women who are very similar to you in terms of geographic location, age and educational and marital status, as well as in terms of their interests. The best thing about this way of meeting people is that you know one thing for sure: All of these gals have the same need, want and desire — to make new friendships with women.


Popular posts from this blog


ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN - VERY DIFFERENT The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to. But the key is: 1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN. 2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track. If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women. Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on. OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men. Different how? What do I mean by that? ...Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS... not an "event." It happens over time, and it becomes stro…

Reasons Why Some Women Remains Single

No one knows this better than Human Behavior Expert Wendy Walsh, Ph.D. who believes wholeheartedly that what men and women today need most is to just slow things down. Walsh insists her beliefs are based purely on scientific research and economics – all of which she tackles in her upcoming new book,  The 30-Day Love Detox: Cleanse Yourself of Bad Boys, Cheaters, and Commitment Phobes Commitment Phobes, which hits stands this spring. “It’s a much-needed prescription for slow love at a time when everything is fast,” says Walsh“This book is empowering women and telling them about the amazing creatures and goddesses they are and the power they have. It’s not about pointing out all of the mistakes that they make.” In the book, Walsh tackles the top 5 myths women operate on that, she believes, are still keeping them single. Intrigued, right? We were too. Grab your notebooks, as we ask Walsh to break it down for us......
Myth 1: The Hookup Culture Is Everywhere
These days, pretty much ever…

For Women: 5 Dangers Of Lesbianism

Numerous factors have been shown to be associated with increased risk of various health problems.

Today we present general information about some of the factors that put women at higher risk of cancer. As for lesbian health research in general, information is limited on the prevalence of particular health risk factors among lesbians. The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) provides one useful source of data for looking at differences between lesbian and heterosexual women in the study in terms of certain health-related risk variables. 1. Religious Implication or Wrath of God Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”1
Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them” Unlike other sins, homosexuality has a heavy judgment administered by God Himself upon those who commit it – and support it. This…

25 Warning Signs Of A Possible Breakup In Your Relationship

understood that every stage of a relationship
comes with uncertainties and the possibility of
surviving at such moments would depend on
the strength of the both parties. It would be a
matter of concern if you or your partner
chooses to deal with it alone. Break-up do
happen, even to promising relationships, it’s
mostly prompted by contrary influence,
incompatibility or inability to compromise some
standards. Whichever way it comes, there are
signs foretelling the possibility of a split in your
relationship and from my experience as a
relationship counselor, I've gathered 25 signs
for both genders that should get your attention.
* When his excuse is always the same or
* When he stops doing what he did to get you.
* When you’re often compared to his ex.
* When he loves his privacy.
* When she starts keeping sensitive secrets.
* When she makes important decisions without
your consent.
* When she gets mad at minor issues.
* When you’re alone and nothing seems missing

4 Things You Should Never Do WhenYou First Start Dating

relationship or whatever you call it
when you first start dating is
quintessentially the most important
time. While you’re excited to have met
someone new or actually moving on to
a new part of your life, it’s a time where
you have to make sure you don’t ruin
things by getting too far ahead of


According to Oladapo Ashiru, A Professor of Anatomy/Consultant Reproductive Endocrinologist,Men who have sex at least two times in a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, a new research says. The study, which was conducted with over 1,000 men, describes sex as an activity that involves intense physical and emotional elements. Sexual intercourse may be a marker for a healthy heart because sex can be a form of physical activity, which, like exercise, gives your heart a workout.

Those who desire frequent sex and are able to get it, are likely to be healthier than others. Men who have regular sex may also be in a supportive relationship, which offers stress reduction and emotional benefits.

Regular sex is so beneficial that when you see a doctor he is likely to ask many questions about your sex so as to find out about your overall health condition. Apparently sex is not only good for your heart; it also keeps many diseases at bay.

For example, sex can actually cause you to g…

For Ladies – 10 Things That Mean More To Men Than “I Love You”

With these tips, you would learn how to show a man you love him in ways he will truly appreciate.

1. Your Undivided Attention
When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important.” 2. His Favorite Meal
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly.” Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. 2. His Favorite Meal
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly.” Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. 3. Wearing that Dress He Loves You in
Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you’ve been together. Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains. 4. Taking Care of Yourself
Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re…


1) Don't Fake It its no secret we love women who have orgasms but faking it to please us only robs you of the pleasure you deserve and we want you to have. Besides, if we think we are doing it right, it only makes us repeat the same style that achieved the fictitious result, and only takes you further away from actually having orgasms with us. What a shame. If it is our first time together, let us get off to an honest beginning. If you do not have an orgasm, and he asks if you did, be honest and tell him the truth. The more you like the man, the more honest you need to be with him.

2) Show & Tell Men are not mind readers. If you are not having orgasms with us, show and tell us what we need to do, and do not be afraid of appearing too liberated. Men love a challenge, especially this one, and real men admire women who can talk us through it. Give honest feedback and lead us to the finish line. It is difficult to please a woman who cannot please herself. If you do not know what to…

Women’s Health – 9 Factors That Affect The Health Of The Female sex organ( V**Ina!!! )

Vaginal health is an important part of a woman’s overall health. Vaginal problems can affect your fertility, desire for s*x and ability to reach climax. Ongoing vaginal health issues can also affect other areas of your life, causing stress or relationship problems and impacting your self-confidence.

What affects vaginal health?
The v**ina is a closed muscular canal that extends from the vulva — the outside of the female private part area — to the neck of the uterus (cervix). Various factors can affect your v**ina, some modifiable and some not. They include - 1. Unprotected s*x. You might contract a sexually transmitted infection if you have unprotected s*x. 2. Aggressive s*x or pelvic fracture. Forceful s*x or an injury to the pelvic area can result in vaginal trauma. 3. Certain health conditions. Diabetes and Sjogren’s syndrome — an autoimmune disorder — can cause vaginal dryness. 4. Medications and feminine-hygiene products. Prolonged use of antibiotics increases the risk of a vagin…