Skip to main content

Relationship Tips: Should You Divorce Your Spouse For Your Lover? Consider This Facts First

That's it. You've decided you're leaving today to be with your soulmate. Never again will you settle for the dreary, disconnected existence you've been living, when you can have the breath-stopping, romantic, intoxicating life you've been having in secret during your affair. 
Sound familiar? If you're considering ending your current relationship for a new relationship, you may want to slow down and ask yourself these questions first.

Do you really know your lover? 
No one is perfect, but when we're in the throes of infatuation, we have a difficult time seeing any flaws in our partner. Everything they do seems wonderful, the relationship is perfect and nothing will ever change that. You convince yourself that no one has ever made you feel this way before. If you're still in this infatuation stage, you're not seeing the relationship realistically. Everything changes over time, and routine could settle in quickly. Don't forget that your lover knows you're married and is complicit in the lying that having an affair requires.

How real is this relationship? 
Most affairs are conducted in secret, where it's easy for both of you to be on your best behavior for the limited time you get to spend together. Nothing from the outside world has really touched your relationship. It's like being on a perpetual vacation. Once your affair sees the light of day, the fantasy relationship will become part of the real world — with all its boring and repetitive aspects.

Are you being objective about your marriage? 
Your marriage and spouse will pale in comparison to your affair. It's easy to focus on what's not working in your marriage because the contrast is so stark. Admitting to yourself there might be positive aspects of your marriage and your partner may be inconvenient, but that doesn't mean it's not true. When you're looking for the negative, it's easy to find. The same is true about finding the positive, but you have to be willing to see it. Try working to see the positive in your current relationship.

Are you being honest about your contributions to your marriage? 
If you only see your spouse's failings, you will be likely to repeat your own mistakes in this new relationship as well. Having an affair as a way to address the problems in your marriage is a choice you made. Looking at what led you to pick this option will reveal a lot about you and the role you play in the success of your relationships.

Is your happiness more important than your children's?
Whether you believe it or not, your spouse will likely be devastated by your decision and its cause. As an adult, they will hopefully find a way to cope. And when you leave a marriage, your children have to leave it, too. Yes, they want you to be happy; they just don't know how much unhappiness it will ultimately cause them. That's because they haven't experienced it yet. 

Are you aware of the dismal statistics your new relationship faces?
You won't be coming to this relationship with a clean slate, and that will put stress on it from the start. If you're both leaving marriages to be together, the stress will be that much greater. Second marriages statistically fail at a higher rate than first ones. Those that start as affairs fare the worst of all.

Are you prepared for the reaction of your friends and family? 
We like to believe that those closest to us want the best for us. This isn't always true when it comes to affairs. It may be a bumpier ride for your lover to be accepted into your existing world. Divorce, under the best of circumstances, divides those closest to us. When infidelity is present, these divisions can be both unexpected and harsh. This may draw you and your lover closer together at first, but can create resentment and distance in the long run. 

Escaping the world you created with your partner for the new and exciting one you hope to have with your lover may seem like a good idea now. The unanswerable question is, "Will they look the same in the harsh light of day?" Only time, and the impact of unavoidable collateral damage, will tell.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

UNDERSTANDING HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN

ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN - VERY DIFFERENT The reality is that you CAN stop this negative pattern if you WANT to. But the key is: 1) Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN. 2) Understanding YOURSELF, so you don't ALLOW yourself to act like a Wussy, become boring and turn a good thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT things to keep everything on the right track. If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you can control your destiny with women. If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION for you, then you cannot control your destiny with women. Read that paragraph again, and think about it for a minute before you go on. OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different for women than it is for men. Different how? What do I mean by that? ...Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION is a PROCESS... not an "event." It happens over time, and it becomes stro…

Reasons Why Some Women Remains Single

No one knows this better than Human Behavior Expert Wendy Walsh, Ph.D. who believes wholeheartedly that what men and women today need most is to just slow things down. Walsh insists her beliefs are based purely on scientific research and economics – all of which she tackles in her upcoming new book,  The 30-Day Love Detox: Cleanse Yourself of Bad Boys, Cheaters, and Commitment Phobes Commitment Phobes, which hits stands this spring. “It’s a much-needed prescription for slow love at a time when everything is fast,” says Walsh“This book is empowering women and telling them about the amazing creatures and goddesses they are and the power they have. It’s not about pointing out all of the mistakes that they make.” In the book, Walsh tackles the top 5 myths women operate on that, she believes, are still keeping them single. Intrigued, right? We were too. Grab your notebooks, as we ask Walsh to break it down for us......
Myth 1: The Hookup Culture Is Everywhere
These days, pretty much ever…

25 Warning Signs Of A Possible Breakup In Your Relationship

I
understood that every stage of a relationship
comes with uncertainties and the possibility of
surviving at such moments would depend on
the strength of the both parties. It would be a
matter of concern if you or your partner
chooses to deal with it alone. Break-up do
happen, even to promising relationships, it’s
mostly prompted by contrary influence,
incompatibility or inability to compromise some
standards. Whichever way it comes, there are
signs foretelling the possibility of a split in your
relationship and from my experience as a
relationship counselor, I've gathered 25 signs
for both genders that should get your attention.
* When his excuse is always the same or
contradictory.
* When he stops doing what he did to get you.
* When you’re often compared to his ex.
* When he loves his privacy.
* When she starts keeping sensitive secrets.
* When she makes important decisions without
your consent.
* When she gets mad at minor issues.
* When you’re alone and nothing seems missing

For Women: 5 Dangers Of Lesbianism

Numerous factors have been shown to be associated with increased risk of various health problems.

Today we present general information about some of the factors that put women at higher risk of cancer. As for lesbian health research in general, information is limited on the prevalence of particular health risk factors among lesbians. The Women’s Health Initiative (WHI) provides one useful source of data for looking at differences between lesbian and heterosexual women in the study in terms of certain health-related risk variables. 1. Religious Implication or Wrath of God Lev. 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.”1
Lev. 20:13, “If there is a man who lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed a detestable act; they shall surely be put to death. Their bloodguiltness is upon them” Unlike other sins, homosexuality has a heavy judgment administered by God Himself upon those who commit it – and support it. This…

4 Things You Should Never Do WhenYou First Start Dating

relationship or whatever you call it
when you first start dating is
quintessentially the most important
time. While you’re excited to have met
someone new or actually moving on to
a new part of your life, it’s a time where
you have to make sure you don’t ruin
things by getting too far ahead of
yourself.

WHAT REGULAR SEX DOES TO YOUR HEALTH - Oladapo Ashiru

According to Oladapo Ashiru, A Professor of Anatomy/Consultant Reproductive Endocrinologist,Men who have sex at least two times in a week can almost halve their risk of heart disease, a new research says. The study, which was conducted with over 1,000 men, describes sex as an activity that involves intense physical and emotional elements. Sexual intercourse may be a marker for a healthy heart because sex can be a form of physical activity, which, like exercise, gives your heart a workout.

Those who desire frequent sex and are able to get it, are likely to be healthier than others. Men who have regular sex may also be in a supportive relationship, which offers stress reduction and emotional benefits.

Regular sex is so beneficial that when you see a doctor he is likely to ask many questions about your sex so as to find out about your overall health condition. Apparently sex is not only good for your heart; it also keeps many diseases at bay.

For example, sex can actually cause you to g…

For Ladies – 10 Things That Mean More To Men Than “I Love You”

With these tips, you would learn how to show a man you love him in ways he will truly appreciate.



1. Your Undivided Attention
When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important.” 2. His Favorite Meal
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly.” Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. 2. His Favorite Meal
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly.” Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. 3. Wearing that Dress He Loves You in
Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you’ve been together. Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains. 4. Taking Care of Yourself
Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re…

MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE DURING SEX

1) Don't Fake It its no secret we love women who have orgasms but faking it to please us only robs you of the pleasure you deserve and we want you to have. Besides, if we think we are doing it right, it only makes us repeat the same style that achieved the fictitious result, and only takes you further away from actually having orgasms with us. What a shame. If it is our first time together, let us get off to an honest beginning. If you do not have an orgasm, and he asks if you did, be honest and tell him the truth. The more you like the man, the more honest you need to be with him.

2) Show & Tell Men are not mind readers. If you are not having orgasms with us, show and tell us what we need to do, and do not be afraid of appearing too liberated. Men love a challenge, especially this one, and real men admire women who can talk us through it. Give honest feedback and lead us to the finish line. It is difficult to please a woman who cannot please herself. If you do not know what to…

Women’s Health – 9 Factors That Affect The Health Of The Female sex organ( V**Ina!!! )

Vaginal health is an important part of a woman’s overall health. Vaginal problems can affect your fertility, desire for s*x and ability to reach climax. Ongoing vaginal health issues can also affect other areas of your life, causing stress or relationship problems and impacting your self-confidence.


What affects vaginal health?
The v**ina is a closed muscular canal that extends from the vulva — the outside of the female private part area — to the neck of the uterus (cervix). Various factors can affect your v**ina, some modifiable and some not. They include - 1. Unprotected s*x. You might contract a sexually transmitted infection if you have unprotected s*x. 2. Aggressive s*x or pelvic fracture. Forceful s*x or an injury to the pelvic area can result in vaginal trauma. 3. Certain health conditions. Diabetes and Sjogren’s syndrome — an autoimmune disorder — can cause vaginal dryness. 4. Medications and feminine-hygiene products. Prolonged use of antibiotics increases the risk of a vagin…